Within​/​Without

by Danya River

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1.
I am living quasi-on-my-own in the halfway house of my body I haven't made it past all the trials of the path but the roses smell dizzyingly lovely CHORUS: From within, from without it don't matter where the spirit comes from just as long as you have got some There's a paper price for everything and we fly around on frail green wings and we fly just to die in the crash and burn of greed and with every breath, the death wish grows we hide from life behind tinted windows band-aids and booze to fix all the ways we bleed Ephemeral is this holy space a dying flash of wasted grace Choice is here between my fingers wisdom strike but you know it never lingers... CHORUS so you turn to him, Cosmic Comedian and you ask for his forgiveness for the childish things you've done On the opium of a forgiving god you call out praises to the Holy Ghost to the Father and the Son. CHORUS I am living quasi-on-my-own in the halfway house of my body
2.
I rode the Zephyr I boarded in Denver my savings tucked in a wad in my sneaker Utah was flying past the window beside me sweeping away all the clutter that confines me going to... San Francisco where online people can't find parking and resort to walking seven days a week past the houses, Painted Ladies swaying gaily from the hills down onto Mission Street Here at the station I've lost my tempo You, my love, lead me to a palace in the Castro I meet the master, a lord in leopard and lace who gives us red wine and lets us crash at his place in... San Francisco where graceful people can't find parking but prefer their walking seven days a week past the houses, Painted Ladies swaying gaily from the hills down onto Mission Street Remember the day that we hiked to the tower Gray winding streets through the afternoon shower Peeling off layers as the incline heated our veins We were impossibly light, our feet in flames San Francisco where we are cradled urban infants finding our feet everyday this week past the houses, Painted Ladies swaying gaily from the hills down onto Mission Street
3.
Here in the mountain womb of Costa Rica I'll be sitting at a table at Montaña Linda and I'll be playing my heart out singing my heart out Farlin's whittling a spoon out of coffee root He'll be whittling away 'til his arm grow shoots and he'll be carving his heart out carving his heart out CHORUS: Infuse your blues with joy don't stop at just any red don't wear your hands out wear your heart out instead My lover he is sitting playing to my right I love the way his forehead wrinkles when he cries when he is crying his heart out crying his heart out Evening crawls over fertile hills hear the crickets talking to the whipporwills and they are talking their hearts out talking their hearts out they are talking, talking, talking... CHORUS and you'll be living your heart out wearing it inside out living your heart out playing your heart out singing your heart out crying your heart out Infuse your blues with joy don't stop
4.
Seneca 04:12
Your clothes are wet through and through Your fingers cold, your lips are blue You're trailing rivers through the door growing oceans on the floor CHORUS: Seneca, Seneca darling This is no day for a sweet girl to be working Drawing in your soaking limbs stretching out your frozen grin You're hiding from this needy day feeling absolutely lazy.. CHORUS Your pale skin, your crimson hair the gap between your front teeth the spring leaf, the damp earth the rivulets of the street I'm singing to the echoes of this room to the flooding of this Upstate NY monsoon inspired by the genius of your company I'm capturing your Boticelli beauty CHORUS ...Seneca, Seneca darlin' come sit and rest with me get off your tired feet
5.
Don't draw the shades I want to see into your living room What kind of girl are you? What kind of boy are you? Don't draw the shades I want to see what kind of clothes you wear when there is no one there... Ya-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie Don't introduce me to the same locked door that you show everyone I know there is an open one Please usher me in I long to kneel in your secret chamber where you hide your treasure Ya-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie Don't draw the shades I want to see out side my living room Don't draw the shades I'll bare the view into my living room Ya-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie, lie-lie-lie
6.
Dear Friend 04:29
Dear friend, I'm in love with you again Funny how I felt so sure of our extinction The way you love me makes my breath go soft makes my logic weak it dissolves my thoughts CHORUS: I forgot my judgments of you It's so good to love you purely and deeply Madly and truly sweetly I love the way you wear the pant you made how you author words how the world's your game and you sense the beauty in most everything and you draw it out and you make it sing CHORUS I remember the morning you first touched me wove my breath entangled in your seaweed eyes rocked me in the cradle of your focus lured my tears and caught them in your kisses you said to me the other day that you love the way that women age and you asked me if I'd love you with a belly and no hair and I giggled, though I meant to say that I would love you anyway that if you couldn't walk, you lost your thoughts I wouldn't care CHORUS Dear friend, I'm in love with you again
7.
My Hands 05:27
Is this my garden sinking in quicksand? Passion has a dandelion will. But now I seem to follow the path of most resistance Perfection is the master of me still CHORUS: My hands, they can do so much and my plans, they are so hard to touch Twisting to fit in a check box Labels really cramp my smile Call me what I will I'm growing by the hour writhing, laughing, yearning all the while CHORUS I have memories, painted tainted colored by retrospect and devised in envy Cleanse me. I am foot worn, soul torn, my hair's shorn. I'm weary, so leave me be. Caught between woman and girl Heart and Starvation. I am in hibernation. I am sleep walking I'm dream talking I'm waking and listening CHORUS
8.
Desire 06:52
Paper sky and burnt orange trees The prickle of the air makes my nose freeze Cinderella hears her call When my love's in San Francisco my slipper falls And I get the urge for holding something I'm a vessel of desire and I'm overflowing recently I've thought about the challenges of dropping out of blazing my own trail through social woods of cutting through the social "shoulds" And I didn't know my cage until I ran 'til I collied with the greater plan And I get the urge for knowing something I'm a vessel of desire and I'm overflowin Why is it that conformity has her fingernails so deep in me? Why should living be a sacrifice With all I value under her knife? and I get the urge for proving something and I get the urge or choosing something yes I get the urge for loving something I'm a vessel of desire and I'm overflowing...

credits

released January 1, 2001

Music & Lyrics by Danya River

Produced by: Danya River
Assisted by: Wil Masisak and Robert Gass
Engineered by: Wil Masisak | Velvet Recording Studio, Boulder, CO
Mastered by: David Glasser | Airshow Mastering, Boulder, CO

Cover Photo by: Jordan Schevené
Graphic Design by: Danya River, Jordan Schevené and Magnus Schevené

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Danya River Boulder, Colorado

Thanks for your support! Check out www.danyariver.com for services including Studio Vocals, Singing Phone-o-Gram and help overcoming vocal shaming.

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